Love & Conflict

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We never really had problems in our relationship. We love each other very much, lately it seems like the stress of life, kids, work, family and other responsibilities monopolized our resources of time, money, and energy; causing us to argue more than we ever have before. I cannot remember what started this continuous distress between us. I know my partner loves me and the kids dearly. Our home has had so much love and trust over the years, and still does. It feel like things are unraveling and getting out of control. I feel lost trying to understand what is happening to us.

My partner tells me they cannot be intimate with me because there is no emotional connection. Somehow, we lost what we once had. I have days where I wonder if we ever truly had “it”. I find myself contemplating and doubting what is “it”, when did we have “it”, and when was “it” exactly lost. I spend many days and nights thinking about how we got here.

Emotional distress and a loss of connection from your partner are good reasons why we seek support. Sometimes couples are aware of their negative patterns with one another, and sometimes we need some distance to discover what they are. My role is to facilitate and help explore what these patterns within the relationship might be. We explore how the patterns make sense in the moment, but aren’t creating the change that you are wanting in your relationship.  Often in sessions, we discover that we both actually want the ‘same thing!’ but we are going about it in very different ways. I’ll also guide you towards creating new patterns of responding and listening to one another.

Often times, when the problem is inches away from your face, it can be difficult to bring “it” into focus.  Part of our work is find ways to step back from the conflict in order to get a clearer perspective. From this place we can begin to work “with” one another, rather than against.

Working with couples is slowing down the old conversation and creating together workable dialogue towards a deeper understanding of who we are as a couple. Couples typically find a space to find their voice, and reconnect in deeper and more meaningful ways with their partner.

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I’d love the opportunity to help you and your partner find a deeper meaning and understanding.

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Contact me to schedule your appointment.

 

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